| Nostalgia |
[Aug. 15th, 2007|02:42 am] |
I spent a lot of time this evening listening to music and reading through old journal entries. I was actually surprised to see some of the things I wrote a few years ago. I forgot about how I felt back then. Heck I even found a poem I wrote a while back. I do not think it was good poetry per se, but it definitely said a lot about the way I was feeling then - and until I try selling books of poetry, I think that it was in that case good poetry in the same sense that a screw driver is good if it turns in a screw. Only an engineer would argue that something as aesthetic as poetry could be judged by the extent to which it fulfills its Telos, but I just did. I suspect I am going to be logical to a fault for a long time, so it is best that I embrace it.
One thing that I do miss, was having a bunch of friends on Live Journal who posted regularly and commented on journals. It energized me.
On a side note - unrelated to the post thus far. I would love to try my hand at stand up comedy. I am not implying that I have some particular gift of humor (though I amuse myself) - but rather that I would like a creative outlet for my particular brand of lunacy. I am going to be working on some material. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|01:26 am] |
Today was my first day as an official Dow employee at the job. It actually felt kind of nice to be included, rather than just an outside contractor. It made my boring job feel more significant. That said, I am in a bit of a tricky financial spot. I'm broke, and the switch from a weekly paycheck to a bi-weekly paycheck means that I am actually not going to get paid again for a little over 2 weeks. This coming at a particularly low point in terms of my finances, the practical is that I will have approximately 50 bucks to live on for the next two weeks. Now, peanut butter and jelly would be an easy way to circumvent a lot of the usual costs, but, let's not forget that I have to drive to work a lot. I have probably 2/3 of a tank, and driving to Ann Arbor and back takes about a quarter tank. Filling up is about 45 bucks at the current rate. I have 9 trips to work before a paycheck. If Andrew has 50 dollars until two weeks from now, should he sell a kidney, or rob a bank?
That said, I may have possibly earned a 50 dollar gift certificate of some kind from work today. I'm not sure - several other people working on the same project I was on are getting them, but I was not around when it was brought up, so it's unclear if I will be getting one too. It would make sense now, but technically when I did the work I was still a contractor and unable to receive a performance award. If it turned out to be a gas card, that would be pretty amazing. Otherwise I will figure something else out.
Man, I cannot wait to have more than enough money to pay the bills, buy food, buy gas, and all that stuff. It is pretty stressful *all the time* to be falling behind. |
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| This is the text of the slice of life I gave at church yesterday |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|01:24 am] |
Hello! My name is Andrew Strobe. I graduated about 3 years ago from the University of Michigan with a degree in chemical engineering (and a minor in philosophy). On graduation day I transitioned from the somewhat glamorous if not necessarily lucrative title of student to the less glamorous albeit similarly impoverished title of *unemployed*. For better or for worse, I was not one of the lucky ones who graduated with a job lined up. That said - it really did not bother me. Having spent four and a half years studying, and spending more than a few sleepless nights working on group projects – I was quite willing to take a break.
And I certainly got one. The plan had been to spend full time job searching – in hopes of finding work within commuting distance from Ann Arbor where my church and friends that I loved were. I found nothing. I did not even get any interviews. Eventually I started broadening my search to places outside of Michigan – with no luck. In the meantime, I was poor. I could not even afford gas to visit my friends in Ann Arbor (though I lived only about 40 miles away). I lost contact with a lot of people. At the same time, my Dad, who is a pastor, was running into some very unfortunate issues with his church. A few people in his congregation who did not like him began spreading false rumors about him, and coming to his supervisor with a number of mostly bogus complaints. My dad, who is quite a gentle, sensitive guy, really did not stick up for himself enough. Long story short, he ended up going on paid leave from ministry for a while, and I did not go to that church any more. Actually, I was pretty angry, so I did not go to any church for a while.
After 7 months of unemployment, I had to do something. I took a data entry job for Oakland County. For 8 hours a day, I typed in information from several years of well drillers’ logs that the county was behind in. I actually was a pretty fast typist – so I ended up working myself out of a job by getting the project done early.
After that, I had a couple more months of unemployment, then I found the job I currently work at – Dow Automotive in Auburn Hills. Now the job was a bit of a drive (even from my parents’ house), I was a contractor with no benefits, and the pay was close to half of what I expected to make when I graduated – but at least I had a real job and I was happy with that. After working it for a month or so, I learned a couple of things. One – my job was exceedingly boring. Two – despite asking for more work, I rarely had enough to fill up half of my time at work. To add insult to injury, contractors have no internet access at my job. When I have nothing to do at work, I have *literally* *nothing* to do.
As I said, the job paid the bills. I actually had gas money to visit friends in Ann Arbor – so I did. In a rather unexpected turn of events, I met someone when visiting friends in Ann Arbor. We hit it off right away, and ended up dating after a little while.
Now I had wanted to move back to Ann Arbor since the day I left. I missed my friends. I missed the town. Even though I had lost a lot of enthusiasm for church since graduating, I did miss this church. The fact that I was driving out fairly regularly to see my girlfriend at the time was the final straw, so to speak, that convinced me to move back. I went over my budget carefully, and decided that I could afford it – so I did.
Shortly after getting a place to live in Ann Arbor, my girlfriend and I broke up. Still I moved back to Ann Arbor anyways, she was just one of many reasons I wanted to move back.
Now, the reason why it had been a difficult decision to move back was the effect it had on my commute in the morning. My drive to work is about 58 miles. It takes me over an hour to get there in the morning, and a bit longer on the way home. What’s more, I had not anticipated the sky-rocketing price of gasoline. My original budget when I moved out here allowed me to save some money. With the additional unanticipated gasoline costs, I was struggling to make ends meet.
Which brings me to today – If I had one sentence to summarize what I was going to say today, it would be “God has hardly given me any of the things that I asked for in the last three years - but I have learned a lot.” If I had a second sentence to summarize, it would be “Amen.”
My boring job has given me a lot of free time where I have nothing better to do than think and pray – and I have done that. The benefit of all those hours with little else to do is that I have learned a lot about what I am passionate about. I saw chemical engineering as a means to make money when I graduated. Now I see it as a set of tools I can use to help stop climate change – and I am consequently excited about how it could help me to innovate in the area of alternative fuels.
While the timing surrounding my move back to Ann Arbor was personally confusing for me, it was something I needed badly. I had put a lot of distance in my relationship with God since graduating, and around the time I moved back, I was almost ready to chuck the whole thing. I reunited with a lot of friends here who helped me through that, some of them just through their fellowship, without them even knowing what was going on with me. I am a lot happier these days than I have been in years.
Finally, the tough financial times have taught me a lot about discipline. The small amount of free time I have due to my commute has similarly taught me a lot about time management – these are two areas I still have loads to grow in, but I do not know how else God would have gotten through to me were circumstances not the way they were.
To sum it up, the Lord is good, and he has a plan – even if I do not always like it. He has stuck with me through the hard times, and even the times I have turned my back on him. I am grateful for all the times he has blessed me – even the times he has blessed me by not giving me what I asked for. And that is a slice of my life. |
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| Ahem |
[Jul. 13th, 2007|03:26 am] |
Attention please. I kind of thought that live journal would have sort of canceled this blog seeing as I have not posted anything at all in nearly two years after a long string of very erratic and infrequent posting to start.
They didn't. Maybe I will start writing in here. For now, I am going to bed, work in the AM, all that business.
Goodnight. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2005|12:02 pm] |
I prefer not to make long or frequent updates to livejournal because it forces me to focus on the fact that very little is actually going on. Still no job. Still looking. Student loan payments start in just a few weeks.
I do not like the Spurs. Especially Robert Horry. If there was a game 8 and 9, we would win them both!
In other news, I'm playing in a band called (until they rename themselves to reflect a changed line up) "New Standard". If anyone cares to listen, you can hear a sampling of our music at http://www.purevolume.com/newstandard
Take care all. |
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| The non-update update |
[Mar. 22nd, 2005|11:12 pm] |
There is not very much to report. I am still living at home, and still looking for a job. No bites. I got a call from a consulting company run by a friend of a friend. They have nothing right now, but I am supposed to call back in a couple of weeks. I am kind of frustrated at not being able to do much.
In other news, I started running today. I am planning on running a half marathon in the fall, and I have to get back into shape for that. I would be lying if I said I was certain I would keep this habit up, but gosh darn it, I am planning on it. It would be nice to accomplish something.
Every so often I am hit with the fact that I have a degree in chemical engineering. I start thinking, "What do I REALLY know about chemical engineering". I feel kind of clueless. I wonder if every recent graduate feels that way about their field. I suppose if I start actually working, it will all click in, but right now I feel like I just got some piece of paper signed by Mary Sue Coleman by some mistake of book keeping. I am sure they will be confiscating my diploma any day now.
Feel free to call. I like hearing from people. |
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| An Excerpt from an article by Jim Boal concercing statues and images of saints |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|10:52 am] |
I didn't have a better place to post this, so here it is. Probably only a couple of you whom I was having a conversation with will be interested. ~Andrew
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The use of icons in the Eastern Church and statuary by Rome has always seemed to Protestants a gross violation of the first commandment. I have recently read St. John Damascene's Treatise, On the Sacred Images. While I see some flaws in his theology, I am less interested in his justification for the use of Icons, than determining whether the practice is something that was truly taught by the apostolic church. If Mr. Whiteford is correct then we should see a stream of affirmation from the earliest writings of Christianity onwards. On the other hand, if this is a later tradition of men added to the church, we should find an absence of such data in the earliest documents, and then a later and gradual acceptance.
We know that the use of icons in the church was affirmed at the Seventh Ecumenical Council in 787 A.D. after the iconoclastic era in the Eastern Church. This council affirmed the proskunia (veneration), but not the latria (adoration and worship) of the icons. Most theologies of Iconophilia assume that the veneration of icons stems from an affirmation of the incarnation: Since God has come in flesh, and God chose to have an image of himself defined by matter, believers are now free if not obligated to venerate an image we make of Christ or other saints.
Using this logic, the apostles who had the privilege of observing Jesus himself would have been in the unique position of making the most lifelike icons of Jesus. Even a Protestant would love to see such an authentic representation of our Lord. However, archaeology has not provided any such early images of Christ , and this is not particularly surprising since there is no mention of Christians creating images of Jesus in the New Testament, the Apostolic Fathers, or any existent Christian writing before the council of Nicea!
There are on the other hand, many attacks against pagan use of images by the church Fathers:
Athenagoras (177 A.D.)
In Rome, the Historian Varro says that in ancient times the Xoaron of Mars - the idol by which he was worshipped - was a spear, artists not having yet applied themselves to this specious pernicious art; but when art flourished, error increased. That of stones and stocks --- and to speak briefly, of dead matter - you have made images of human form by which you have produced a counterfeit of piety, and slandered the truth, is now as clear as can be; but such proof as the point may demand, must not be declined … You then show yourselves inferior to apes by cleaving to stone, and wood and gold, and ivory images and to pictures … For we are expressly prohibited from exercising a deceptive art: "For thou shalt not make", says the prophet, "the likeness of anything which is in heaven above or in the earth beneath."
Melito (160-170 A.D.)
"There are, however, persons who say: It is for the honor of God that we make the image: in order, that is, that we may worship the God who is concealed from our view. But they are unaware that God is in every country, and in every place, and is never absent, and that there is not anything done and He knoweth it not. Yet thou, despicable man! Within whom He is, and without whom He is, and above whom He is, has nevertheless gone and bought thee wood from the carpenter's and it is carved and made into an image insulting to God. To this thou offerest sacrifice, and knowest not that the all-seeing eye seeth thee, and that the word of truth reproves thee, and says to thee: How can the unseen God be sculptured? Nay, it is the likeness of thyself that thou makest and worshippest.
Lactantius (260-330 A.D)
What madness is it, then, either to form those objects which they themselves may afterwards fear, or to fear the things which they have formed? But, they say, we do not fear the images themselves, but those beings after whose likeness they were formed, and to whose names they are dedicated. You fear them doubtless on this account, because you think that they are in heaven; for if they are gods, the case cannot be otherwise. Why, then, do you not raise your eyes to heaven, and, invoking their names, offer sacrifices in the open air? Why do you look to walls, and wood, and stone, rather than to the place where you believe them to be? What is the meaning of temples and altars? what, in short, of the images themselves, which are memorials either of the dead or absent? For the plan of making likenesses was invented by men for this reason, that it might be possible to retain the memory of those who had either been removed by death or separated by absence. In which of these classes, then, shall we reckon the gods? If among the dead, who is so foolish as to worship them? If among the absent, then they are not to be worshipped, if they neither see our actions nor hear our prayers. But if the gods cannot be absent, - for, since they are divine, they see and hear all things, in whatever part of the universe they are, - it follows that images are superfluous, since the gods are present everywhere, and it is sufficient to invoke with prayer the names of those who hear us…But the image of the ever-living God ought to be living and endued with perception. But if it received this name from resemblance, how can it be supposed that these images resemble God, which have neither perception nor motion? Therefore the image of God is not that which is fashioned by the fingers of men out of stone, or bronze or other material, but man himself
Arnobius (297-303 A.D.)
We worship the gods, you say, by means of images. What then? Without these, do the gods not know that they are worshipped, and will they not think that any honor is shown to them by you? Through bypaths, as it were, then, and by assignments to a third party, as they are called, they receive and accept your services; and before those to whom that service is owed experience it, you first sacrifice to images, and transmit, as it were, some remnants to them at the pleasure of others. And what greater wrong, disgrace, hardship, can be inflicted than to acknowledge one God, and yet make supplication to something else - to hope for help from a deity, and pray to an image without feeling? Is not this, I pray you, that which is said in the common proverbs: "to cut down the smith when you strike at the fuller;" "and when you seek a man's advice, to require of asses and pigs their opinions as to what should be done? "
All these exhortations are against pagan practices, but at no point do they refer to Christian veneration of images nor do they feel the need to contrast the difference between the veneration of icons and the adoration of the pagan images - because the Christians did not produce images. Athenagoras says so himself. I searched every reference in the early Fathers regarding "images" and found only negative arguments against their use. I beg the Orthodox historians to find such references to pre-Nicene icon veneration. I also encourage the Orthodox theologian to compare the provided citations with the arguments of later theologians who support icons. Many of the later arguments are undermined by these early Christian writings against pagan idols. My contention is that it would be an abomination to Athenagoras, Lactantius and the others to see later generations of Christians venerating painted wood.
It is not until the time of St. Basil and St. Gregory of Nyssa do we see references to Christians venerating images, and it is not until the last Ecumenical Council that their use is canonized . Where then did this tradition come from if not from the apostles? The cannons of the seventh council tell us - from the Caesars!
For if the people go forth with lights and incense to meet the "laurata" and images of the Emperors when they are sent to cities or rural districts, the honour surely not the tablet covered over with wax, but the emperor himself. How much more is it necessary that in the churches of Christ our God, the image of God our Saviour and of his spotless Mother and of all the holy and blessed fathers and ascetics should be painted ?
The veneration of the image of Caesar predated the ministry of Jesus. The emperor was viewed as a God, and venerating his image was a sign of loyalty in the Empire. Many Christians died refusing to give homage to this image . Unfortunately, the tradition of venerating the image of Caesar was adopted by Christians after the empire converted to Christianity and was adapted to Christ and the Saints shortly thereafter. This is clear from studying Church history.
Though St. John of Damascus and the seventh council would like to make a difference between the worship (latria) of images and the veneration (proskunia) of them. The first commandment of Moses forbids both. The Septuagint reads:
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
Thou shalt not bow down [proskunia] thyself to them, nor serve [latria] them
The Holy Spirit forbade the production, veneration and worship of images from the time of Moses through the apostles. The early church fathers maintained this tradition and spoke out vociferously against the pagans who continued to craft images of their gods. A tradition of men - that of venerating images - invaded the church after the first Nicene council and was ratified by a clearly uninspired seventh council and lasted until the Holy Spirit was pleased to cleanse it through the Protestant Reformation.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|12:14 am] |
So... I am living at home. I apply for a lot of jobs. I play xbox. I lift weights. I read. Sometimes I even drive into Ann Arbor. IN fact, if anyone wants to hang out, drop me a line or give me a call. I would be happy to visit when I am in town. As it is, I mostly see the same few people when I am in town.
Oh, and occasionally I go to the Palace to watch the Pistons with floor seats.
Here are a bunch of the Pistons during warmup. The leftmost one is Tayshaun. The guy in the foreground is a palace security guard, named Not-Tayshaun.
This is what the game looked like from my seats.
Also I watch movies with my mother. In the past week I have seen The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, The eternal sunshine on the spotless mind, The Village, and Love Actually (which my mother got for Christmas, we watched it tonight). I really enjoyed all of those movies. The last one I wouldn't recommend to most people I know because of some of the content of the movie, but Lord help me, that movie was a riot. It was brilliant, but often 'very inappropriate' as a friend of mine would probably describe it. |
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astrobe's journal